Wow. I tell you! God is something pretty amazing. Our lesson for this part in the Psalm 37 series was a doozy! If I tell you how I have watched these two scriptures for the longest wondering how I would apply them, except to lending and paying back as unto a bank. And this morning, I heard these words (or something close cause I shamefully didn't write it down immediately):
There are too many independent women wanting to get married but not willing to lose their independence. But how can a woman follow my stature if she is to be so independent. It won't work!
Later this morning, I recalled these words and prepared to post them to Facebook because that was my first thought on where to share it. But honestly I wasn't comfortable with it because so many women, including myself, have done so much to gain their independence only to be told that they must let it go in marriage. So instead, I posted this:
To my independent, single women:if you have desires to be married, know that marriage is not two independent people, but two people who are willing to let go of 50% of themselves to form 100% with their spouse. You will need him and he will need you. Independence in marriage is an oxymoron. Learn this now or stay single.
While traveling, the post had not posted yet as I was in the air when I clicked submit but the words from the morning hadn't left me. As I picked up my book on the supernatural Kingdom, the posting and the paraphrased words of the morning haunted my thoughts and I was unable to concentrate on my reading.
"Hmmm", I wondered. "Why are these words still lingering. Is there more for me to do...?"
I read on, stopping every few minutes to ponder my assignment with the words. And it hit me!!!
"I think my next reading has to do with borrowing and repaying. Does this independent word have something to do with that?" I pondered.
And it does!
The wicked borrows and does not repay, But the righteous shows mercy and gives. For those blessed by Him shall inherit the earth, But those cursed by Him shall be cut off. Psalms 37:21-22 NKJV
The wicked can be defined as those that do not keep the Word of God. In marriage, it's a husband who does not cover his wife and a wife who does not submit to her husband. It can be a husband who does not love his wife as Jesus loved the church and wife who does not respect her husband.
But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 NLT
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5: 21-33 NLT
Some of us women have a hard time with this word...submit. But having been married for 12 years now, I must say, it's become pretty easy, especially when your husband is covered by the Most High. You can trust that his guidance is God-led and that Holy Spirit is his adviser. But as it indicates in I Peter 3, even if he is not under the covering of Jesus, we women can do plenty to help our husbands come to Christ by submitting and taking our rightful role as intercessors for the the family!
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. I Peter 3:1-2 NIV
But how does this apply to the portion we are covering today? Often times when we are in a relationship, we take and take and take, never giving back. If you recall, I'd mentioned that 100% of the relationship requires 50% of each person. When we come with too little, it's like you are borrowing from the relationship and depleting from the account. Come with too much and there's no way he can be the provider. Either way, you are outside the will of God.
But instead, if we can learn to understand our Godly roles as a wife, we will continue to be righteous offering mercy and giving to the relationship rather than taking (and trying to control it).
By following the statutes of the Word for wives, we can guarantee our rightful place next to Christ and receive our inheritance. Those who seek to remain as they desire, not following the instructions given, will only cause their relationship to fail. Hence, a curse will fall on their marriage. Curse simply means destined to fail.
So which would you rather have: your independence or the blessings for the righteousness.
Keiyia JOYet George
Somehow, I have learned so much about myself, who I am in Christ, and how to be a Godly wife and woman of God with the help and guidance of Holy Spirit. I definitely don't claim to have all the answers, but with Holy Spirit as my chief counsel, I'm sure we can help you be a giver and not only a taker. You may contact me directly via email or below in the comment section. Marriage isn't always easy, but with Christ, things always work out.
Psalms 37 Series
Part 1 - Evildoers
Part 2 - Do Good
Part 3 - Heart's Desire
Part 4 - The Son Will Rise and Shine For You
Part 5 - REST
Part 6 - Soar Like an Eagle
Part 7 - Seek the Kingdom
Part 8 - It's Not Your Fight
Part 9 - You Will Reap It All
Part 10 - He Got You